Navigating Picky Eaters
Holidays are tough as is, let alone with your in-laws giving you glances and judging you because your child is having a meltdown and refusing to eat what is being provided. The closer dinner time is, the bigger the ball in your stomach gets. You know your child is going to not only refuse but to refuse in a very loud way, making sure everyone knows they aren’t going to eat what is served. Or, perhaps worse, they take a bit, spit it out, and state how awful it is? Your anxiety increases as time inches forward.
What if instead of dreading the meal, you were able to relax, engage in conversation, and be able to take bets at how fast grandpa falls asleep in his chair?
Here are a few quick tips to help you to take back control of family meals.
Try to find out in advance a few of the dishes being served. Pro tip: bring a side dish your child LOVES. Bonus if they help make it!
With your child, pick a handful they will try on the big day. Explain they don’t need to eat a huge portion, even a smaller scoop will be fine.
Practice polite ways to respond to others if they’re offered other foods (i.e., “No, thank you” or “Thank you, but I’m happy with what I have here”). Pretend to be their Great Aunt Betsy who always hounds them to eat her stuffing and have them respond accordingly. The more fun you make this, the more they’ll enjoy themselves and remember to do it on the big day!
Practice what to do if they don’t like one of the chosen foods on their plate. Instead of them saying, “Yuck, this is gross!” or throwing a fit, tell them they should swallow the bite they took, take a big drink of milk to wash it down, and then leave the rest on their plate. Again, depending on their age, it’s okay to teach them to spread the food out to make it look like they ate more. Hey - if adults can do it, so can they! :)
Agree upon a predetermined number of bites or amount of food they have to eat before they are allowed to be done or before they are allowed to eat dessert. Discuss this number with them multiple times on the days leading up to the meal, as well as quietly remind them before the meal.
This should not occur at the table!! If you wait to decide this at the table, you’ll want to avoid a scene so will let them off the hook, which is not the goal.
These five simple steps leading up to dinner will help you and your child feel more confident about eating unknown foods with unfamiliar people.
Don’t forget to praise all of their hard work!!! During dinner, discreetly acknowledge how well your child is doing. Perhaps that’s a whisper in their ear or a wink and a smile. Or a fun secret sign you made together, such as wiggling your ears. Make sure they know how proud you are of them getting through this meal calmly and with the family.
Putting a simple plan into place will help your child feel supported and you feel more relaxed and in control.
Let’s eat!
This is part of our “Thriving Through the Holidays” series.
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